


The Stars Shine the Brightest in the Dark

by theauthenticme



Category: Riverdale (TV 2017)
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, F/M, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Rape Recovery, Sexual Assault, choni
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-29
Updated: 2020-07-08
Packaged: 2021-03-01 01:14:25
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 13,509
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23376718
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theauthenticme/pseuds/theauthenticme
Summary: When something awful happens to Cheryl, their lives are forever changed. This is Cheryl and Toni’s journey of recovery.
Relationships: Archie Andrews/Veronica Lodge, Cheryl Blossom/Toni Topaz
Comments: 73
Kudos: 124





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for joining me on this journey, it’s going to be an emotional one. This story was heavily inspired by something I read almost 10 years ago and I have been wanting to write for a long while now. I will add the link to it below.  
> I want to make you aware right from the outset that this story is centered around recovery from sexual assault and I ask that you proceed with caution if you feel this could be triggering for you in any way. 
> 
> My twitter inbox (theauthenticme2) is always open if anyone wants to talk about anything, anytime. ♥️
> 
> This story has only been edited by me, so any and all mistakes are entirely my own and I apologize in advance.

_No matter how dark the moment, love and hope are always possible._ ** George Chakiris **

** Prologue ( Flash forward) **

Cheryl Majorie Blossom wasn’t always great at expressing how she felt. Her parents had always admonished crying as a sign of weakness. Cheryl had lost count of the times she had cried because of something her parents had done over the years. 

Her life had felt bleak, until Toni Topaz showed up and irrevocably changed her life for the better. 

Toni had always had the ability to make her feel better, whatever the situation. 

Cheryl knew that no matter what, if she had Toni by her side, things would be okay.

Which was why, as she felt herself crying uncontrollably in Toni’s arms on the floor of their vacation house, she was scared. 

Scared that even Toni’s comfort wasn’t bringing her relief from the darkness she felt currently surrounded by. It was a darkness she felt like she’d never be able to escape from and that terrified her more than anything. 

** Chapter 1 **

(Present day)

“Let’s go this way babe, it will be much quicker..” Toni tugged Cheryl towards the dark alleyway, knowing it would take them half the time.

“TT...you _know_ I hate going this way...it’s so dark and creepy..”

“We’ll be fine baby...you’ve got me to protect you haven’t you? The sooner we get home, the sooner we can finish our night the way we talked about earlier right?” she grinned, tugging Cheryl beside her.

Cheryl seemed to relax beside Toni, focusing her attention on her girlfriend rather than the alleyway they were heading through. 

" Evening ladies." A tall figure stepped out of the shadows infront of then, blocking their path. 

Toni pulled Cheryl automatically closer to her side, immediately on edge.

" Get lost perv." Toni tried to unsuccessfully push past him, the man simply keeping in step with her, blocking their path completely. “what’s the rush? I'm just being friendly...”

“Listen up buddy” Toni growled. “We’re not interested in being friendly. Back the fuck away before I do something that will hurt you a lot more than it will me.”

The unfamiliar male, who couldn’t have been more than a couple years older than them simply laughed. “Such fowl language...and you’ve got such a pretty face too...shame really...” she saw him nod at someone who had appeared behind them as she felt Cheryl tugged harshly away from her with a scream.

Toni leap immediately to her aid, lunging at the man who had grabbed her, determined to protect the woman she loved. She went for him and would no doubt have been successful if someone hadn’t grabbed her too. She saw the man who had Cheryl tug harshly on her dress, Toni powerless to stop him as everything suddenly went black and she fell to the floor with a sickening thud.

— — —

When Toni came to, she was in a hospital bed, the harsh lightening and a mere thin curtain around her bay being the only thing to separate her from the busy ER.

"Hey!" She yelled hoarsely, trying to lift herself up from the bed. "Can someone please come and explain to me what the hell is happening?” 

An anxious looking nurse pulled back the curtain a little to inform the brunette that someone would come in shortly to speak with her. 

It was a little while later when Veronica, clad in her white doctor’s coat and a stethoscope round her neck, stepped around the curtain and towards Toni. 

“Hey T...how are you doing?” she asked softly. Far _too_ softly for Toni’s liking. 

“Where’s Cheryl?” Toni asked immediately, her head pounding. Not that that mattered. Nothing else mattered...she just needed to find her girlfriend. 

“She’s going to be fine T. Nothing broken but a lot of pretty bad bruising. We’ve given her a lot of meds for the pain that have made her drowsy so she’s resting right now...”

Toni could tell by the way Veronica was stood awkwardly beside her that there was more to this than Veronica was telling her. 

“What exactly aren’t you telling me? And don’t tell me there’s nothing...I know BS when I see it..”

Veronica let out a soft sigh, moving closer to Toni as she reached for her hand. 

“You need to stay calm okay? You’re not in the best shape yourself right now..” 

“I don’t care about me. I need to know what’s going on with Cheryl..” she yelled, feeling frustrated. “Just tell me already.” 

“Uh...well...she uh...we need to..” Veronica, who was usually so well composed, seemed lost for words. 

“You need to get evidence right?” Toni’s face was unreadable, her voice flat as the reality of the situation started to sink in.

Veronica nodded sadly, glad she hadn’t had to say it. “I’m going to do it. I promise you I’ll take care of her okay?” she fought back her own tears, needing to be strong for her friends right now. 

“When can I see her?” Toni asked desperately. “I need to be with her.”

“I know, I know sweetie..” Veronica soothed. “You need an X-ray and then you won’t have to leave her side okay?” Veronica squeezed her hand gently. “I’ll see you real soon okay T?”

“Thank you V.” And then she was alone again, left with nothing but her thoughts.

— — —

When Toni next came to, everything felt hazy. She couldn’t remember if she’d even been for her x-ray. She sat up, her head still pounding and her body aching when the sudden movement. 

“Cheryl...I need to be with Cheryl..” she tried to get out of the bed, letting out a loud groan of pain as she did so. To her surprise, Veronica was immediately beside her.

“Veronica? I need to be with Cheryl. How long have I been out? Why didn’t anyone wake me up? Is she alone?”

“Take it easy..” Veronica replied calmly. “The pain meds she on also have a sedative effect, so she’s been asleep for the past few hours. And she’s not alone...Betty is with her.”

Toni could do nothing but nod, her own injuries causing painful throbbing to radiate through her body. “I need to see her V. Please..”

“It’s really not a good idea for you to be out of bed yet Toni. You were beaten very badly and although nothing is broken, your body has been through hell.”

“It’s nothing compared to what Cheryl has been through though is it? If you won’t take me to her, I’ll go find her myself..” she went to get fully out of the bed, the world starting to spin as she attempted to stand.

“Of course I will, but you’re in no fit state to be walking” Veronica steadied her. “Sit tight for one minute while I go get you a wheelchair okay?”

Toni couldn’t argue, she knew there’s no way she could walk safely anywhere right now.

— — —

It didn’t take long for Veronica to appear back. She helped Toni get dressed and then eased Toni gently into the wheelchair.

“Do all your patients get this sort of treatment?” Toni asked, a tiny smile appearing briefly on her face.

“Only my very, very favorites” she smiled, giving Toni’s shoulder a very gentle squeeze.

Veronica took Toni up several floors, away from the ER. When they reached the right floor, Veronica stopped outside a private room, the door closed. 

"Is she in there? Can I see her now?” Toni felt her body tense, anxious to see the woman she loved more than anything else. 

As soon as Veronica wheeled her inside, Toni forced herself painfully out of their chair to move to Cheryl’s beside, forgetting to even acknowledge Betty’s presence. 

“Baby..” she whispered, cupping Cheryl’s bruised cheeks, tears spilling quickly down her own. 

“I’m so sorry I let you down and couldn’t protect you..” her own emotion coursed through her body, her quiet tears quickly turning to muffled sobs as she struggled to contain her emotions.

“It’s okay Toni..” Veronica comforted, moving to wrap a gentle arm of comfort around her. 

“None of this was your fault..” Betty added quietly, not moving from her chair on the other side of the bed.

“You don’t know that” Toni mumbled. “You weren’t there. The only one there was me and I couldn’t protect her from this..” she didn’t see how she would ever be able to get over this, the guilt was already eating her up inside. 

“Toni...” Veronica wished she could do something to ease the emotional pain. 

Cheryl stirred slightly, a small groan leaving her mouth.

“Rest babe, I’m here and I’m not going anywhere..” Toni soothed, placing the softest of kisses to her forehead.

“You need to rest too..” Veronica reminded her quietly.

“No” Toni rushed out, shaking her head. 

“Toni..”

“I’m not leaving her, not again.” The sudden movement made her sway with dizziness again, causing Toni to cling to the rails of the bed to steady herself. 

“I was just going to suggest that maybe you’d feel better if you sat down. Here..” she pushed a chair up behind Toni, guiding her carefully into it.

Toni sat heavily in the seat, keeping hold of Cheryl’s hand the entire time, determined that she wouldn’t leave her side again.

— — —

Veronica working at the hospital meant that she was easily able to get a second bed brought into Cheryl’s room for Toni, meaning she was able to stay by Cheryl’s side. 

Toni was declared well enough to go home the following morning, although was incredibly reluctant to go home even to shower. It wasn’t until Archie threatened to carry her out of the hospital that she agreed to go home to shower and change, as long as Archie promised to bring her right back. 

A few hours after she’d left, a fresher feeling Toni made her way back to Cheryl, concerned to see Veronica at her beside once again.

“Is she okay? What’s going on?”

“She’s slept the entire time you’re been gone. She’s had another dose the strong pain medication with a sedative effect so she’ll probably be completely out of it for the next few hours.” 

Veronica opened her mouth to say something else, meeting Toni’s eyes briefly before her gaze fell resolutely to the floor.

“What is it?” Toni asked, her concern growing again.

“Toni...I’m sorry. My shift is over now so I’m not going to be here for most of the day.” The guilt on her face made Toni’s heart clench. “I know I’ve been handling her care up until now, but I’ve handed it over to my colleague Arizona Robbins. She’s awesome and will make sure she gets the best care okay?”

“God V...please don’t say sorry about that. You need to sleep. You’ve been up all night and you’ve been amazing, I’m so grateful that you were working last night..” Toni pulled her into a hug.

“I’ll be back tonight” Veronica promised, kissing her best friend’s cheek. Toni’s gaze was already back on Cheryl, Veronica somehow reading her mind.

“I know it’s not nice to see her like this, but she’ll be okay. Sleep is the best thing for her right now.”

“I know” Toni sighed, more tears falling before she could stop them. “There’s just...there’s a part of me that needs her to wake up. She can’t emotionally start to heal until she does and I need to see her eyes, I need to connect with her again. I need to apologize...” she trailed off.

“And you will...soon okay?” Veronica promised.

“I was thinking..when she’s finally discharged, maybe we’ll go away for a while. The Blossoms own a really nice house by the beach. Cheryl and I visit when we can. I remember this one time, she took me there when we were about 19 and had the most amazing vacation. It’s usually rented out to people but it’s empty for the next few months as we were going to have some work done on it. I thought it might be nice for us to go there to get away for a bit. Hopefully it will give Cheryl the space she needs to process and work through all this without lots of other distractions.”

“It’s a lovely idea Toni, but I have to ask...are you sure that cutting yourselves off like that is good for you both right now? Away from your home, your friends..”

“She loves the beach house. I really do think it will help her to get over this. If it doesn’t, we’ll come back. And I now you guys are only a phone call away.”

“We are. But I’m thinking about you too. This is about you both....you’ve both been affected by this in a big way. Just because going away will help her, will it help you too?”

“I’m okay. What happened to me is nowhere near as traumatic as what she’s been through. My focus is going to be solely on her...I know I can get her through this.”

“They don’t call you the best therapist this side of New York for nothing” Veronica agreed. “You know her better than anyone.”

“Exactly.”

“And you know...we can even come visit if you want..”

“That would be nice..” Toni agreed, glad Veronica seemed a little more onboard with the idea. “Once were settled in and have found our feet, I’d love that. I know Cheryl would too.”

“Well then that’s settled.”

“Thank you Veronica. For everything..” shehugged her friend as tight as she could given her own injuries, more tears stinging her eyes. She was never usually this emotional.

“You and Cheryl are my best friends and I love you both, so much. I’m always going to be here for you both okay? No matter what.”

“That means so much to me. We love you too.” She wiped her eyes, kissing Veronica’s cheek. “Now go home and sleep...”

“I’ll see you later” she smiled sadly as she left, worrying about how her friends would get through the next few months. 

Once Toni was alone with Cheryl, she settled herself in the chair beside the bed, trailing her fingers lightly up and down Cheryl’s arm in the comforting way she knew Cheryl loved.

It was much later in the day when Cheryl finally woke up. “TT?” she croaked, her anxious eyes look ok desperately for Toni. 

“Hi baby...I’m here..” Toni gave her hand a squeeze, Cheryl turning to look at her painfully. 

“Are you okay? Did he...” she couldn’t bring herself to anymore, a feeling of bile rising her in her throat.

“No...no..” she reassured with a shake of her head. “I’m fine...”

“You promise?” Cheryl’s lip wobbled, tears slipping quietly down her bruised face.

“I promise” she brought Cheryl’s hand carefully to her lips, placing soft kisses over her knuckles. “And you’re going to be okay too, even though it doesn’t feel that way right now.”

“Toni..I..I..” her wide, anxious eyes met Toni’s as she struggled to find the right words. “I’m scared..”

“I know baby. But you don’t need to be..You’re safe now. I got you okay?”

Cheryl attempted to sit up but it was too painful, laying back down with a groan.

“You’ve got a lot of bruising so it’s going to be painful for a while. That’s one of the reasons they’ve got you on such strong pain meds baby.”

Cheryl listened to Toni speak, her lower lip wobbling. “It hurts so much..” she didn’t even bother to wipe her tears away. 

“I know..I know baby.” Toni stood to kiss Cheryl’s tears away. “I wish more than anything that I could take all your pain away and make this better for you. I love you Cher.” 

“I love you too TT.”

They sat in a contemplative silence for a little while, Toni stroking her thumb across the back of Cheryl’s hand as she held it tenderly.

“I thought maybe we could go to the beach house seen as it’s going to be empty for a while. How does that sound?”

“I love the beach house” Cheryl murmured, already drifting off into unconsciousness again. “We can do that..”

“Okay, good. We can talk more about it another time..” she continued to hold Cheryl’s hand, watching her breathing even out. “I love you baby..” she struggled to contain her own emotion, suddenly feeling very alone and anxious about the journey they had infront of them. 

The road was going to be long, she knew that. It felt like they were just entering the dark depths of a long tunnel with no end in sight. She just hoped and prayed that as they journeyed on, a glimmer of light would appear and they’d both come out the other side, closer and stronger than they’d been before. 

She was clinging onto the fact that there was light at the end of the tunnel, she just couldn’t see it yet. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I joined the prologue and chapter 1 together as one chapter, as the prologue was far too short to stand alone.
> 
> I hope you enjoyed this and will stay on this journey with me. I am hoping to update once, if not twice a week.  
> Please let me know what you thought of this chapter, your comments mean a lot to me. 
> 
> I know this can be a very triggering topic for people. Please remember that my twitter inbox (theauthenticme2) is always open if anyone wants to talk about anything, anytime. 🤍


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for coming back for chapter 2. Just a little reminder that this story is centered around recovery from sexual assault and I ask that you proceed with caution if you feel this could be triggering for you in any way.
> 
> My twitter inbox (theauthenticme2) is always open if anyone wants to talk about anything, anytime. ♥️

Cheryl has been in hospital for almost 3 days when it was determined that she was strong enough to go home.

“You two ready to go?” Veronica asked, offering them an encouraging smile as she entered the room.

“I think we’re just about ready, right babe?” Toni offered her hand to Cheryl, who grasped it tightly, clinging closely to Toni’s side. 

Cheryl, who usually dressed in fairly formal attire, was currently in her favorite hoodie of Toni’s, coupled with the black sweat pants she usually kept for cosy nights besides the fire. 

“All of Cheryl’s take home meds are in here..” Veronica handed the bag straight to Toni, Cheryl’s gaze fixed firmly on the ground.

“You know you can call me anytime right? Either of you..” she looked between them both, meeting Toni’s eyes with a sad smile.

“Thanks Ronnie, we really appreciate that.” 

“Why don’t I wheel Cheryl down while you go bring the car up to the entrance?” Veronica offered. 

“Babe? Is that okay?”

Cheryl nodded wordlessly, not really wanting Toni to go but knowing the walk to the car would be too much right now. 

Cheryl watched Toni go, wrapping her arms protectively around herself, unsure what to say.

“Let’s get you into the wheelchair..” Veronica wheeled it over to Cheryl, locking the brakes before she offered her hand to Cheryl. 

Cheryl hesitated before taking it, letting Veronica help her into the chair. She watched as the raven haired woman crouched down infront of her. 

“Cher? You’re going to be okay sweetie. I know it probably doesn’t feel like that now but it will get better. I promise..”

“How do you know?” she sniffled.

“I’ve seen more women than I care to remember in your position. And it really does get better. Physically and emotionally.”

“I hope so..”

“I know so.”

Veronica wheeled her down to the front of the hospital, where Toni was waiting to help her into the car. To everyone’s surprise, Cheryl hugged Veronica fiercely as she got out of the wheelchair, tears in her eyes as she thanked her for all she had done.

“You’re so welcome” Veronica hugged her back, unable to hide her own tears that welled in her eyes.

“Let me know when you arrive.”

“We will do, thank you V” Toni hugged her when Cheryl was safely in the car. “Talk to you later.”

“It’s going to be okay Toni..I know it” she promised as Toni got back into the car.

She waved them off, hoping that a break at the beach house would be exactly what they both needed to recover.

— — —

“TT? Can we pull over please?” They had barely driven out of the hospital parking lot, but Cheryl was already shifting uncomfortably in her seat. 

Toni found a safe place to stop, turning in her seat to look at the redhead sat beside her. 

“It hurts..” she mumbled, the slight tremble of her body obvious to Toni. 

Toni knew what Cheryl was referring to and she hated that she was suffering this way. It was a painfully horrendous reminder of what had happened to her, one she could get no real escape from. 

“Why don’t you have your pain meds now babe? I know they make you sleepy but that might help if you can sleep for most of the car journey.”

Cheryl nodded, her blank gaze a far cry from her usually composed demeanor. 

“Here..” Toni leaned towards the back seat to grab the bag of meds, popping two pills into her hand. She gave them to Cheryl with a bottle of water. “You’ll feel better as soon as they kick in..” she promised, relieved when Cheryl had taken them. 

“Just try and relax and let me take care of everything else okay?”

Cheryl nodded, trying and failing to find a more comfortable position.

It wasn’t long before they were back on the open road, heading towards the beach house that they would be calling home for the time being. 

“Thank you TT..” Cheryl mumbled sleepily as the pills stated to take effect.

“For what baby?” Toni glanced briefly at her.

“For being my personal Pablo Escobar..."

“Anytime” Toni chuckled softly at the comment as Cheryl drifted off to sleep. 

— — — 

When Toni pulled her car up outside the beach house, Cheryl was still sleeping peacefully beside her. Toni knew her body needed rest to recover, so was relieved that she had managed several hours straight. 

“Cher? Wake up baby...” she stroked her cheek, Cheryl mumbling something incoherently in response.

“Let’s get you in the house okay?” Toni moved round to Cheryl’s side of the car, opening her door.

Toni felt the gentle ocean breeze sweep over them, the feeling bringing a calmness to her busy, anxious mind.

“Come on Cher...time to wake up my love..” she gave her shoulder a gentle shake, Cheryl opening her eyes blearily as Toni helped her carefully from the car.

Cheryl seemed to wake up a little more with every step, relieved when she was finally inside the house and settled on the couch. “Are you going to be okay here while I go grab our bags?” Toni checked, not wanting to leave Cheryl alone.

“I’ll be fine...thanks TT.” 

Toni offered her a soft smile, kissing the top of her head, before she rushed quickly back to the car to get the bags she had hastily packed that morning. 

Once everything was inside the house and she had made sure the door was securely locked, she went back to check on Cheryl. “Babe? Are you okay?” 

Cheryl was stood by the closed glass doors that overlooked the ocean, the setting sun casting a golden glow over the blue waters. Toni knew that this was the right place to come to give them time to heal and recover together.

Toni came up beside the redhead she loved , slipping her arm very gently around Cheryl’s waist. 

Cheryl leaned into Toni’s touch, her head coming to rest against Toni’s shoulder. 

“How about something to eat? I could make you some soup? Or a sandwich?”

The redhead shrugged. "I’m really not hungry TT. My stomach doesn’t feel right, I don’t think I would keep it down.”

Toni nodded sympathetically. The mixture of antibiotics and various medications Cheryl had been prescribed to help prevent any sexually transmitted infections were leaving her feeling queasy. Not to mention the pain medications that made her drowsy and even less hungry. 

“I know you don’t feel like it, but you've got to eat. Remember what Veronica said? Eating will help settle your stomach babe. The more you eat, the better you’ll feel, so please try a little something, even if it’s just a few bites of a sandwich.”

“Okay, I’ll try..” she let out a resigned sigh, knowing Toni wasn’t going to drop it until she agreed.

“The kitchen should be pretty well stocked, Gina dropped a load of groceries off this morning after she’d cleaned and changed the sheets.”

“Oh good..” Cheryl replied absently, her mind clearly elsewhere.

“I’ll be back” Toni promised, kissing her cheek before heading to the kitchen to see what they had to eat.

Toni was relieved to see every shelf and their large refrigerator were packed with food, more than enough to keep them going for a month or more atleast. She made a mental note to text Gina later and thank her for what she had done.

— — —

It didn’t take long for Toni to prepare them both some food, keen for Cheryl to try eat atleast a little something. 

She put it neatly on a tray, carrying it over to where Cheryl was now laid on the couch, wrapped up in a blanket.

“Think you can try eat a little bit?”

Cheryl groaned, pulling the blanket tighter around herself. “I really don’t feel like it Toni..” she mumbled, even the thought of food making her feel nauseous. 

“I know you don’t sweetie, but I think it will really help if you do. Just a few bites? For me?”

Cheryl visibly winced as she moved to sit up, Toni quickly offering her a gentle hand to assist her. “Nice and easy..there we go..”

Toni placed the tray tentatively on Cheryl’s lap, mindful that the bruises that littered her fragile body were still fresh.

“Not bad I suppose..” a hint of a smile played across Cheryl’s lips as she eyed the food Toni had brought her. “It will do for now.”

“I know it’s not the usual _gourmet_ standard that I usually give you back home, but it was just something quick before we go to bed. I promise that normal service shall resume once I have a bit more time and am used to where everything is in the kitchen.”

Cheryl nodded in response, her absent gaze on the food infront of her, although she offered Toni no verbal response.

“Toni?” Cheryl finally broke the silence, turning to meet Toni’s eyes nervously.

“Hmm?” Toni reached for Cheryl’s hand, giving it a comforting squeeze.

“You know I love the beach house and being by the ocean. But I have to ask...why are we here?”

“Well...” Toni stalled, using the moment of silence to collect her thoughts.

“Iknew it was going to be empty while we got that building work done..” she couldn’t hide the slight wobble in her voice.

“And I just kinda thought that we both needed to get away for a bit...needed some time to heal after everything that’s happened. I know there’s no way I’m ready to face people or work yet and I know you’re not either. I figured that here..I can take care of you and you have space to just...breathe and do whatever you need to do to feel better without the pressures of everything back home. 

“Thank you..” Cheryl whispered, fresh tears welling in her eyes as she settled on the bruises on Toni’s face, a stark reminder that it wasn’t just Cheryl who had suffered at the hands of those bastards. “I love you so much Toni. I really do.” Cheryl reached for Toni’s hand, gripping it tightly in her own. 

“I know baby, I know. I love you too.” Toni cupped Cheryl’s cheek, her thumb running over the bruises that marred the redhead’s pale skin. 

They stayed sat together for a while, Toni brining Cheryl’s hand up to her lips to place feather light kisses to her knuckles. 

When Toni eventually tidied away the food tray, she was smiled when she saw that Cheryl has managed over half her sandwich. Toni hoped that it would help to settle Cheryl’s stomach. It felt like they were making progress already. Baby steps, but heading in the right direction atleast.

It wasn’t until that night when Toni was trying to calm a thrashing and terrified Cheryl, that she realized just how far away from recovery they really were.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed chapter two. Please leave a comment what you thought, I love reading them! 
> 
> Chapter 3 should be up at the weekend. I have been working on it today and have found writing it emotional 🥺 I hope I do it justice.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This took a little longer than planned. Thank you for coming back for chapter 3.
> 
> TW for mentions of sexual assault and associated trauma.

Cheryl and Toni quickly fell into a routine at the beach house. As soon as Cheryl woke up, Toni would make sure she had had all the medicines she needed to take, before leaving Cheryl to rest while they took effect.

Toni took this time each morning to go out on the back deck with her coffee, enjoying the sound of the gentle waves crashing onto the shore. The ocean always had a calming effect on her and she needed that more than ever right now.

Then Toni would make breakfast for them both before they got up and on with their day.

Cheryl would usually take a nap in the afternoons, Toni chatting to her therapist colleague about how best to support Cheryl. She hadn’t been able to get Cheryl to talk about anything with her yet, let alone anyone else. She wasn’t pushing, knowing that Cheryl would only shut down further, although she was anxious about it.

When Cheryl was awake, Toni found it hard not to be near to her, watching her with anxious eyes and worrying about what Cheryl _wasn’t_ saying. She knew the redhead was thinking and feeling so much, but she refused to talk about any of it beyond the physical pain she was in. 

Most evenings were spent under the blankets on the couch, the two cuddled together as they watched something on Netflix. 

Toni learnt very quickly not to make any sudden movements around a jumpy Cheryl. She had gone to hug her one morning without warning, Cheryl flinging her arms back in defense to push the intrusion away, fearing another attack. 

Toni now checked the redhead was okay to be touched every time she wanted to rub her back or rest a hand on her leg, Cheryl becoming a little less tense and agitated as the days went by. 

The worst time for them were the nights. Cheryl slept well for the first few hours, the pain meds having a sedative effect on her. It was when they wore off that she would wake up thrashing and crying out, still half asleep and reliving her nightmare. Toni would hold her tightly in her arms until Cheryl calmed down and came to, still shaking and very upset.

Toni whispered comforting words to her as Cheryl sobbed, the physical and emotional pain of everything weighing her down heavily. 

Toni struggled to hold back her own tears, it breaking her heart to see Cheryl so upset by it all and feeling helpless to make it better.

She knew once Cheryl started to talk about it, it would start to improve, but she simply hadn’t been ready. 

— — — 

It wasn’t until they’d been at the beach house for almost a week that Toni approached the subject again.

Cheryl had woken up as she always did, thrashing and crying. Once she had calmed, Toni started to run her hands gently through Cheryl’s hair when she finally brought it up. 

“Baby? I think we need to start talking about things..” Toni felt Cheryl tense immediately beside her. 

“No we don’t..” the panic in her voice was evident. “I..I’m not ready..”

“Often with these things, you’ll never _feel_ ready and it’s only when you start to talk about it that you can process things and start to heal emotionally and I think tomorrow might be the right time.”

Cheryl shook her head. 

“And like I’ve said before, If you don’t want to talk about it with me, some of my colleagues at work have already offered and said you can call anytime..”

“No...no...” the thought of talking to anyone else about it was even more distressing than talking to Toni. She simply couldn’t.

“Just for a little bit. We can build up a little more each day..”

“I’m not sure..”

“I want you to trust me on this sweetie. Please?”

“I’ll try..” Cheryl promised.

“Thank you, that’s all I ask.”

— — —

The following day, Toni repositioned a couple comfy chairs in a small living room that they didn’t use. 

“So...” hummed quietly, approaching Cheryl at the breakfast bar.

“I was thinking, it might be a good idea to go somewhere different when we’re talking.”

“Leave the house?” Cheryl looked panicked at the mere thought.

“No..not at all. I just thought maybe we could go sit in that small living room by the dining room that we never use. I think it might help to have somewhere seperate to talk that isn’t part of our day to day lives at the beach house.”

“Sounds like a good plan” Cheryl agreed quietly. 

“Why don’t we go sit down in there for a bit now?” 

“Now? But I haven’t had time to prepare anything..”

“You don’t need to prepare anything sweetie. Just bring yourself...”

Cheryl nodded, following Toni quietly to the unused living room.

“Do I sit?” she asked, gesturing to the comfy chairs.

“You can sit. Or lay...I know laying down might be a little more _comfortable_ for you right now. Whatever you feel happiest with”

Cheryl nodded, thinking it over quickly before choosing to lay down on the couch, Toni sitting in an arm chair beside her.

Cheryl’s gaze was fixed firmly on the ceiling, her hands fidgeting nervous over her stomach.

“So..” she started, letting out a small breath. “Am I talking to my girlfriend now? Or my therapist?”

“Whatever you feel most comfortable with...” Toni replied softly.

“What do _you_ feel most comfortable with?” Cheryl asked.

“Honestly? I am happy either way my love.”

“Maybe..” 

“Maybe?” Toni promoted when Cheryl didn’t continue.

“Maybe it would be best if we try and seperate the two? So in here...you’re my therapist. But when we’re not in here, you’re not. Is that okay?”

“More than” Toni reassured her. 

“Okay...” Cheryl let another long breath. She could do this. She _needed_ to do this, and so she pushed on.

— — — 

As agreed at the hospital, Toni was in regular contact with Veronica. They talked on the phone most days when Cheryl was having one of her pain med induced naps, Toni updating her on how they were getting on. 

They had been at the beach house for almost two weeks when Toni got a text from Veronica, asking her to call her when she had a minute. Even without further detail, there was something about the way it was worded that worried Toni, her stomach churning anxiously, even though she didn’t know why. 

Toni shut herself in the kitchen before calling Veronica back. 

Veronica picking up on the first ring only fueled Toni’s anxiety. 

"Hey T." She said softly. "How was your night?"

Toni hesitated, her mind instantly recalling the five times that Cheryl has woken up panicking and in distress. In truth, it had been one of the worst nights they’d had at the beach house.  


“It was fine” she lied, swallowing hard and fighting the urge to tell Veronica the truth. “How are you and Archie?”

Veronica paused as if trying to decide whether or not to believe Toni’s strained words. "Fine." She finally answered. "Archie asks about you guys every day. He’s worried. Betty texts me all the time asking for an update, as do Fangs and Kevin. We all love you guys so much.”

“We love you too..” Toni sniffled, doing her best not to cry. 

“Are you okay?” Veronica could hear in Toni’s voice that she was barely holding it together.

“Mhmm. I’m fine” Toni glanced behind her to check the kitchen door was still closed. “You said you wanted to talk to me?”

“I did.”

“Do you have news?”

There was silence for a brief moment and Toni could tell Veronica was building up to whatever she needed to say. 

“They’ve arrested them Toni. Both the bastards that were involved that night. They hurt someone else. She was able to give a really good description to the police and between the two incidents, they were able to match them to security footage near to where you and Cheryl were attacked. One of them caved and confessed to everything. Between that the evidence we were able to collect at the hospital, rhey should be able to charge them once they can get a DNA match.” 

Toni sank heavily down into one of the chairs at the kitchen table, taking in what Veronica was saying. 

“Toni? Are you still there?”

Toni cleared her throat, biting her lip to keep herself together. "Still here” she whispered.

“Do you have any more information?”

“Neither of them are gonna get bail. Even without the DNA results they’ve been charged with grievous bodily harm. From what I can tell, there may not even be a trial as one of them confessed to everything. Probably both in for heavy jail terms.” 

“They deserve it. I’d beat the shit of them myself if I could and Cheryl didn’t need me.”

“You going out to hurt them wouldn’t have helped. Cheryl needs you more than anything right now. Once we have those dna tests, we’ll know for sure..”

“Know what? That it was definitely one of them that raped her and maybe gave her who knows what STD that she’s taking all those nasty drugs for?” 

“Yes..”

“Right okay. .”

“Toni..”

“I have to go. I’ll call you later okay?”  


Toni hasn’t even managed to hang up the phone when she let out a sob, Veronica hearing from her end and wishing more than anything that she could give her a hug. 

Toni wasn’t sure how long she cried for. She stopped eventually, still lost in her own thoughts when she heard Cheryl behind her.

“TT? Are you okay?” Toni stood up as she turned to look at Cheryl and could see how anxious she looked. Toni tried to smile at the redhead but found she couldn't do more than grimace. 

Deciding that there was no point in lying to Cheryl, Toni turned, talking her hands gently. “I spoke to Ronnie.”

“Oh? That sounds more significant that a casual catch up..”

“It was baby. They have arrested the guys that hurt you..”

The redhead slid her hand up Toni’s forearm and squeezed it gently. "The guys who hurt _us_ you mean?"

”it feels wrong including me in that. I was knocked out and a little beat up. You..you were sexually assaulted Cher..”

Cheryl said nothing as the tears welled in her eyes.

"They're getting tested today.” Toni continued. “So in a couple of days we’ll know if they...gave you anything. For sure.” 

“That would be good..” she agreed with a solemn nod. 

“You might get a bit more of your appetite back then baby.”

“What if the tests are wrong and they have got something that’s missed? I don’t want to stop taking the meds until we know for sure.”

“The tests won’t be wrong. We can talk to Ronnie and make sure it’s absolutely safe for you to come off them before you do okay?”

Cheryl nodded, falling silent once more. 

“And you know whatever happens...I’m not going anywhere okay? I love you so much Cher, please don’t forget that.”

“I love you too..” Cheryl inched closer to Toni, timidly pulling the shorter woman in for a hug. The brunette wrapped her arms around Cheryl's thin frame and dropped her head to the redhead’s shoulder. This was the closest contact Cheryl had allowed since they arrived at the beach house and Toni was silently relieved that things seemed to be moving in the right direction.

— — — 

Cheryl barely spoke all afternoon. Everywhere felt too quiet, Toni trying and failing to engage Cheryl in conversation. She had expected some reaction to the news, but so far Cheryl hadn’t offered one. 

Cheryl was still quiet when they went to bed, Toni wondering if Cheryl would sleep any easier knowing that they guys who hurt her were locked up.

Toni’s hoped where quickly dashed when Cheryl woke up screaming, the nightmare seeming much worse than she had had before. 

It took Toni almost 10 minutes to calm Cheryl down to the point where she was able to talk.

“They...they had you TT. And I couldn’t help you. And they made me watch while they..they..” she started to sob again, clinging tightly to Toni’s shirt.

“Shhh, it’s okay. It was just a bad dream baby...” Toni soothed.

They laid together, Toni soothing and reassuring Cheryl. 

"TT?" Cheryl eventually whispered into the dimly lit room. Toni wasn’t sure how long they had been laid there, but she guessed it was over an hour.

“Yeah?” Toni smiled, pressing a tender kiss to her head again.

"Will you sing to me? Please?” Her request was so quiet, Toni had to strain to hear her.

“Of course I will...did you have anything specific in mind?”

Cheryl shook her head. “You pick. I just wanna hear your beautiful voice...”

“Hell yeah my voice is beautiful” Toni teased in an attempt to lighten the sombre mood.

The edges of Cheryl's eyes crinkled as she smiled slightly.

Toni kept her arms safely around Cheryl, tugging them both back ever so gently so they were once again laid comfortably against the pillows. 

Cheryl leaned in closer to Toni, her head falling to Toni’s shoulder as she tried to get comfortable. 

Toni started to hum softly, the tune familiar to Cheryl before Toni even started to sing. 

“ _These nights never seem to go to plan_

_I don't want you to leave_

_Will you hold my hand..._

_Oh, won't you stay with me?_

_'Cause you're all I need_

_This is love, it's clear to see_

_Oh darling, stay with me”_

Toni felt herself choke on the words, changing them slightly so they were more applicable to her and Cheryl. She noticed Cheryl seemed to be calming a bit, continuing to sing...

“ _Why am I so emotional?_

_No, it's not a good look, I’ll gain some self control_

_Deep down I know this never works_

_But you could lay with me_

_So it doesn't hurt._

_Oh, won't you stay with me?_

_'Cause you're all I need_

_This is love, it's clear to see_

_Oh darling, stay with me”_

“I’ll always be with you Cher, because you truly are all I need. No matter what, I know that as long as I’ve got you, we can handle anything. Even this okay?”

“Okay” cheryl whispered with a soft nod. And for now, that was enough. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading. The song Toni was singing is one of my favorites by Sam Smith.
> 
> Thank for all the messages you’ve sent to me. Just wanted to remind you that my twitter inbox (theauthenticme2) is always open if anyone wants to talk about anything, anytime. ♥️


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here is chapter 4. I hope you enjoy reading this chapter as much as I did writing it.
> 
> You will see Katy (Keene) mentioned in this chapter. For the purposes of this story, she is a work colleague of Toni’s and a good friend to her and Cheryl (a firm part of their friendship group.) 
> 
> TW for mentions of sexual assault and associated trauma.

The sun came up the following morning bigger and brighter than Toni remembered it any other day since they’d got to the beach house. As much as she loved the sun, why did it always seem to wake her up so damn early at the beach house? It was never this sunny back home. 

As Toni begrudgingly cracked her eyes open, she was met with Cheryl’s long, red hair, fanning over the pillow beside her, her morning grumps abating instantly. To her relief, Cheryl was still asleep.

Toni let her eyes scan over Cheryl’s bruised and pale face. She knew the Cheryl she knew best was still in there somewhere, currently well and truly hidden under a barrage of pain and suffering. 

Cheryl stirred when Toni got out of the bed, but to Toni’s relief, she didn’t wake. Boy did she need the sleep after the night they had had, Cheryl dozing fitfully in Toni’s arms until the early hours.

Toni made her way downstairs, glancing out the living window just in time to see the mailman driving off. The brunette’s interest had been piqued as she headed immediately to the front door to see what had been left on their porch.

The sight of a large white box made her curious as she unlocked the front door to retrieve it. She couldn’t help but smile to herself when she saw who had sent it to them.

Their closest female friends, Josie, Veronica, Betty and Katy had joined forces to send them a care package from home. She’s barely had time to carry it through to the kitchen when she heard movement behind her.

Cheryl looked like she was barely awake, the bags under her eyes doing nothing to hide the fact she’d spent most of the night awake and sobbing.

“Baby? I didn’t expect to see you out of bed yet, it’s still really early.”

“I was hungry...” she mumbled, a light blush. “You know I can’t sleep when I’m hungry.”

“Hungry huh?” Toni couldn’t help but smile. This was the first time Cheryl had mentioned feeling hungry since _it_ happened. “Well lucky for you, the Topaz beach house restaurant is open 24/7. What can I get you babe?”

To Toni’s surprise, Cheryl moved quickly across the kitchen, wrapping an arm around Toni’s waist as she rested against her. “You’re always so good to me TT” she hummed. “And waffles would be amazing please.”

Toni turned with a smile, relishing any contact that Cheryl was willing to initiate. 

“Anything for my Cher bear” she hummed, resting her hand on top of Cheryl’s. 

"Veronica, Josie, Betty and Katy sent you a care package by the way” Toni hummed as she nodded towards the large white box on the table.  


Katy was one of Veronica’s oldest friends, who Cheryl and Toni had got to know when they moved to the city. She had spent a lot of her younger years designing clothes, her busy shop and online store both thriving. Katy now split her time between that and something else she’d always has a passion for - helping others. She worked as a therapist at the same practice as Toni and had quickly become not only a trusted colleague but also a close friend. 

“How about you go see what’s inside while I make you those waffles.”

The briefest of smiles appeared on Cheryl’s face as she nodded at Toni’s suggestion. “I _do_ love gifts” she confirmed with a nod. 

“Go sit...I’ll grab some scissors and bring l the box over.”

Cheryl made her way to the couch in the corner of the kitchen, Toni placing the box on the small coffee table that sat infront of it, the ocean visible through the open blinds at the floor length window.  Toni tore her lingering gaze away from the ocean and left Cheryl to her box, moving across the kitchen to make Cheryl her favorite maple syrup waffles. Toni was very grateful in that moment that she had remembered to pack a bottle of it before they left for the beach house.

Cheryl opened the box with care and precision, the bruises on her body still painfully sore. The first thing she came to when she lifted the lid was a bright pink envelope, her name written in beautiful, dark ink.

She opened it easily with a single swipe of her finger, reading it in her head.

‘ _Cheryl,_

_ This is just a little something from myself, Katy and Betty. We know things have been beyond difficult for you and that you’re taking the time you need to feel better. We hope this package puts a smile on your face and aids that healing in some small way. We’ve also included some things for Toni, I’m pretty sure you’ll be able to tell what’s for her when you open it. We love and miss you both so much and think about you every single day. _

_ We love you.  _

_Josie, Veronica, Betty and Katy xoxo_.’

Cheryl wiped a stray tear that had slipped down her cheek as she put the letter to one side, making a mental note to show it to Toni later. 

The first item Cheryl pulled out of the box was a pair of soft pajamas embroidered with little cherries. Cheryl placed the folded garments neatly beside her, peering into the box to find a second pair. She knew the second pair were for TonI, the color a giveaway before she even saw the design. They were a pastel purple, Toni’s favorite flowers printed on the pants. “For you” Cheryl called across the room, holding them up for Toni’s approval. 

“Ooo, love those” Toni smiled, grinning at Cheryl. 

The second item was loosely wrapped in red tissue paper. Cheryl pulled the paper off eagerly to reveal a Disney movie boxset. All her favorites were there, from Ariel to Frozen. “If this isn’t an excuse to wear our new pajamas and have a movie night, I don’t know what is.”  
Toni gave her another encouraging smile, pausing her breakfast making to watch Cheryl happily open the rest of her gifts. 

Cheryl clapped her hands when she saw her friends has included their senior year Talent Show cd - Hedwig. 

“Oh my god. Do you remember this TT?” Cheryl held it up for Toni to see, flipping it over to peruse the track listing. 

“I do. We had so much fun doing that - even if Principal Honey did try and derail is several times.”

“He was mean” Cheryl agreed with a scowl. 

“Didn’t stop you though did it? Nothing stops the iconic Cheryl Blossom..” Toni met her eyes across the room, her words loaded with deeper meaning that she hoped Cheryl would take on board.

Cheryl continued to pull items from the box, the next being an adorable red teddy bear with a tag round it’s neck, hand written by a Betty to explain why they had picked it for her;

’ _My name is Red, I’m you’re to keep,_

_Some company for while you sleep._

_I’ll catch bad dreams and take them away,_

_so you can wake up to a happier day.’_

Cheryl wiped the few tears that fell, smiling at the kind gesture from her best friends as she focused on opening the last of the gifts. Some books for each of them, some of Cheryl’s favorite and very expensive shampoo, and some of Toni’s favorite cooking items in glass jars, all wrapped safely in bubble wrap. 

“Wow, we owe them more than a thank you, look at all this...” Toni’s eyes were wide when she saw everything they’d be sent all laid out on the coffee table. “Maybe we can call them all later? What do you think?” Toni was aware that Cheryl had so far been reluctant to speak to anyone on the phone.

“Maybe..” Cheryl shrugged with a small nod, her somewhat cheery demeanor quickly disappearing.

“Let’s not worry about that now. Come on baby, I believe someone wanted waffles?” She took Cheryl’s hand and led her to the breakfast bar, presenting her with her breakfast.  


To her relief, Cheryl ate every single bite. 

— — — 

As soon as they were done with breakfast, Cheryl insisted they both put on their new pajamas before they started their movie marathon. 

It took Toni several long minutes to persuade Cheryl to take her pain meds, seeing the obvious discomfort she was still experiencing most of the time. 

Cheryl had been reluctant to take them and Toni wasn’t entirely sure why, deciding not to push it that morning, instead wanting to bolster Cheryl’s lighter mood. 

“What movie is it first babe?” Toni enquired, getting comfy on the couch. 

“I was thinking maybe..Ariel?”

“Ariel sounds like a good plan, I know it’s one of your all time favorites.”

Cheryl got it all set up, moving over to the couch to sit beside Toni. The pain meds were kicking in, meaning things were starting to feel a little less uncomfortable.

Toni beckoned Cheryl close to sit between her legs, wrapping her arms around Cheryl’s upper body. “This okay?” She murmured, placing a kiss to the side of her head.

“Mhmm, more than..” Cheryl nodded, Toni’s loving arms around her making her feel safe.

— — — 

A few hours and several Disney movies later, the two women were cuddled up together on the couch, Cheryl snuggled closer to Toni than she had been since any of this happened. Cheryl was sleeping against Toni’s chest, her breathing calm and her face peaceful.

Toni couldn’t remember the last time Cheryl had slept like this without nightmares, so she resisted the urge to turn off the rolling credits of the movie and move her sleeping beau, instead running her fingers soothingly through red hair, her fingers lightly grazing over her scalp in the way she knew Cheryl loved.

Toni often found herself thinking.... _overthinking_ even, during these extra quiet moments that she seemed to be having as of late.

She worried that Cheryl wasn’t talking about what had happened, reluctant to open up and share how she was feeling.  


Toni had suggested maybe it would be better if she spoke to Katy, of of their friends and Toni’s colleagues instead, but Cheryl always shot down the idea with a firm shake of her head, insisting things were fine as they were. 

Toni wasn’t sure what part of how things currently were that Cheryl apparently thought was ‘fine’ but Toni was finding it increasingly difficult to engage her in any meaningful discussion about her assault. 

Whenever she tried, Cheryl usually shut the conversation down, or said they should talk ‘later.’ The problem was, Toni knew that she wouldn’t move past it if she didn’t take about it. She just needed to find the right way to do that with Cheryl. 

— — — 

It was a couple days later when the long awaited phone call finally came. Veronica has promised to call as soon as all the blood work and test results were back, Toni picking up the phone the second it started to buzz. 

Cheryl was napping on the couch, Toni sat in the nearby armchair with her laptop open on her lap.

“Hello?”

“Toni, hey. It’s Veronica.”

“Oh hey V. Sorry, I didn’t recognize the number..”

“I’m sorry, I’m calling from the hospital.”

“Oh...right. Does that mean..?”

“Is Cheryl able to come to the phone?”

“Is everything okay? Did he have something?” Toni could hear herself starting to panic.

“I really need to speak to Cheryl about this T..” Veronica hated not being able to update Toni, but she had to follow protocol, and Toni wasn’t the patient. 

“She’s just waking up...hang on..” Toni had to resist the urge to put Veronica on loudspeaker as she passed the phone over to a groggy Cheryl. 

Cheryl pulled herself into a sitting position, rubbing her eyes as she looked expectantly at Toni. 

“It’s Veronica, she needs to talk to you babe..” 

Cheryl took the phone anxiously from Toni’s hands. “Ronnie? Hi. Mhmm, yeah I am. Thanks..”

Toni didn’t seem to notice she was holding her breath as she waited anxiously beside Cheryl, straining to hear what Veronica was saying. 

Cheryl was barely saying anything beyond a few ‘mhmms’ and ‘uhuhs’, biting her lip in the way she did whenever she was anxious. 

When Cheryl finally ended the call with an “okay thank you. Yeah, speak soon...” Toni was still none the wiser as to what Ronnie had shared with her.

“Well? What did she say?” Toni moved to sit beside Cheryl, searching her furrowed brow for any clues as to the outcome. 

“They got all the rest results back..” Cheryl mumbled quietly.

“And what _were_ the results?” Toni went to rest her hand over Cheryl’s, retracting it quickly when she remember how jumpy Cheryl had been.

“All negative. Every, single one..” Cheryl’s tense shoulders relaxed a little as she spoke.

Toni let her own exhale at Cheryl’s words. “Negative? Oh thank god, that’s amazing news baby.”

Toni was so pleased with this news, she pulled Cheryl into a hug without thinking, Cheryl immediately tensing up and fighting the urge to push Toni away. 

To Cheryl’s surprise, Toni’s joy seemed to be contagious, her anxiety quickly ebbing away to make room for a happier feeling to bubble in her stomach. 

“Do you think I can stop taking some of those meds now? I should have asked Ronnie but I didn’t think..” she sighed, averting her gaze from Toni’s. 

“I expect so, but we’ll check with her later to be sure.” Toni cupped Cheryl’s face, their eyes meeting. “I love you Cheryl Blossom. And I am so, so proud of you...” the sincerity with which Toni spoke reverberated through Cheryl as she offered Toni a soft smile, leaning closer to press a soft kiss to Toni’s lips.

The unexpected kiss sent Toni’s heart soaring, Toni having to fight the urge to deepen the kiss as she normally would have done.

It was the first kiss Cheryl had allowed since her attack and it was entirely too soon for the brunette to be thinking about making out with her beautiful girlfriend; Cheryl simply wasn’t ready for that level of intimacy yet.

As quickly as it began, it was over, Cheryl pulling away with an apologetic smile. 

Toni cupped her cheek again, refusing to allow her sudden withdrawal to upset her. This was at Cheryl’s pace, and see needed to be the one on control. Toni was relieved she finally seemed to be taking some. Plus, they now knew Cheryl hadn’t caught anything from the sleezeball that had changed their lives so suddenly. 

The fact Cheryl was healthy was something that Toni needed to focus on, things were heading in the right direction and right now, that was what mattered most. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The comments you leave on here mean so much to me, so thank you 🥰
> 
> My twitter inbox (theauthenticme2) And my curious cat if you want to remain anonymous (link on my twitter profile) are always open if anyone wants to talk about anything, anytime. ♥️


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for coming for chapter 5. I hope you enjoy it. 
> 
> TW for mentions of sexual assault and associated trauma.

Toni was surprised to wake up and find Cheryl was not in bed beside her.

After a momentary panic, she found Cheryl stood at the large windows at the back of the living room, overlooking the ocean they were lucky enough to have on their doorstep.

Toni came up quietly beside her, waiting for Cheryl to acknowledge her presence she before she stepped closer, wrapping a tentative arm around Cheryl’s slim waist.

“Good morning my love..” Cheryl hummed, leaning into Toni’s gentle touch.

A comfortable silence fell over the pair until Cheryl spoke again. “I was thinking maybe we could go for a walk along the beach today.”

“Oh yeah?” Toni was jumping for joy inside, but kept her response to Cheryl calm and collected. This would be the first time that Cheryl had even _mentioned_ leaving the beach house since they arrived. 

“I know we have a great view of the ocean. But I want to actually _feel_ it you know?”

Toni nodded. “I’d like to do the same. There’s something very calming about being by the ocean.”

“Well that’s settled then. Can we go soon? Before it gets busy?” she was fiddling with the sleeves oh her pajama shirt, a sure sign she was anxious. 

“Of course baby. Shall we get dressed now and head out before we have breakfast? The beach is totally empty right now..”

Cheryl nodded, so grateful that she didn’t need to explain things with Toni. Their connection ran so deep, she simply _knew_. 

The two women dressed quickly before they headed out into the cool morning air. 

Cheryl immediately reached for Toni’s hand, seeking the comfort and reassurance that she always felt in Toni’s presence.

“You’re okay baby..” Toni whispered, giving her hand a soft squeeze as they headed down onto the sand. 

The fresh morning air whipped around them, the cool breeze on their skin. They walked quietly for a little bit, taking in the view and simply allowing themselves to ‘be’.

Cheryl tugged Toni gently down on the sand beside her, stretching her legs out infront of her.

“I forgot how good it feels to sit on the sand..” she hummed, offering Toni a soft smile. 

“It really does..” 

They sat on the sand for a long while, the way the waves rolled calming Cheryl more than she had thought possible. 

“TT?” she reached for Toni’s hand, giving it the gentlest of squeezes. “Maybe next time we can paddle in the ocean. If it’s a little warmer of course ..” she gazed up at the sky, the grey clouds getting darker by the second. 

“That sounds like a really good idea babe, I’d like that a lot. And as much as I’m enjoying this, I really think we should head back before the heavens open..” she nodded up towards the sky, the grey clouds hanging low and heavy above them.

They pulled themselves to their feet, brushing the sand off the clothes as they headed back towards the house. 

They had almost made it home when the rain started to pour, the two women having nothing to protect themselves from the sudden downpour. 

By the time they made it back to the beach house, they were both soaked to the skin and dripping wet. Cheryl’s clothes clung to her thin frame, Toni becoming acutely aware of just how thin Cheryl was now looking. 

Cheryl’s hands fell to her knees as she bent forward to catch her breath, waiting for Toni to unlock the front door. Her ribs burnt from the physical exertion of running back to the beach house, the bruises still marring her body pulsing uncomfortably. 

When they finally rushed through the door, their clothes were dripping all over the floor as they both stood shivering in the hallway. Cheryl could hear her mother’s scalding voice in her head, admonishing her for daring to drop water over the expensive wooden floors. 

“If my mother could see us now, she would be yelling about her floors..”

“Well luckily for us, she’s not around to say anything babe. Although I would quite like to get our of these clothes, I’m freezing..” she took Cheryl’s hand, immediately noticing the anxious way that the red head stared at the floor, her feet rooted to the spot. 

“We can’t stay dressed like this, we’ll catch a cold. Let’s get rid of our wet clothes and warm up with a nice hot shower...” 

“You mean like...together?” The lost look on Cheryl’s face made Toni’s heart clench, suddenly feeling instantly guilty for even suggesting it.

“Yeah. Well..no..I mean..we don’t have to. I’ll get the shower all set up for you in the en-suite and I can always go shower in the other bathroom.” She tugged her gently up the stairs and towards their en-suite. 

Toni started to pull her wet clothes off as soon as she reached the bathroom, throwing them into a sopping pile on the floor beside her. She was soon in just her underwear, a sad smile on her lips as she looked across at Cheryl who was very much fully clothed, her arms wrapped protectively around her waist.

“Take these off honey..” Toni coaxed, moving towards her slowly. “You’re shivering like mad.”

Cheryl nodded, Toni leaving her alone in the bedroom to get changed while she got the shower going.

Cheryl took her time taking her sweats and hoodie off until she was stood only in her shirt and panties. When Toni came back to tell her the shower was ready, Cheryl was still stood in the middle of the room, her hands wrapped around her thin frame once more.

Toni, now wrapped only in a towel, took a few tentative steps towards her.

“It’s okay Cher..” she whispered, her hands coming to rest lightly on Cheryl’s arms. “Can I help?” 

She waited for Cheryl to meet her gaze, the anxious sigh and small nod confirmation enough that Cheryl was okay with things. 

Toni tugged gently at the hem of her shirt, Cheryl allowing her to pull it over her head. 

Toni tried her hardest not to stare at the painful bruises, a stark and unwavering reminder for Cheryl about what had happened. 

“You don’t have to say it..” she mumbled, her eyes fixed on her feet.

“Say what?” Toni whispered, getting a towel to wrap around Cheryl.

“That I’m not attractive to you anymore. It’s okay...I know how bad I look..” she whispered, her voice cracking. 

“What? Cher baby...no...that’s not true at all...” Toni tried to reassure her, tilting a finger under her chin to encourage Cheryl to meet her gaze. 

“It is..” she whispered through the tears that were silently tracking down her cheeks.

“I promise you it’s not...not even for a second..” 

Cheryl’s watery gaze met Toni’s, her eyes wide as if questioning if what Toni said could really be true. 

“Cheryl...you have always been beautiful to me, inside and out and that hasn’t changed, not even a tiny bit..” Toni promised. “Okay?”

Cheryl nodded, tears still streaming down her face.

Toni has to bite back the urge to pull Cheryl into a loving kiss, knowing she wouldn’t be ready for it yet. “When you’re ready and the time is right, I’ll show you ‘kay?”

Cheryl nodded. “Wh...what if I’m _never_ ready..”

“Then that’s okay too..” Toni promised, taking her hands and giving them a comforting squeeze, her heart breaking at the pain she felt behind Cheryl’s words. 

“You’re so good to me..” she whispered, her heart swelling at Toni’s words. “I don’t deserve you.”

“You deserve all the happiness in the world Cher..” she promised, kissing the backs of her hands. “I’m going to go take a shower. You could join me if you like...but no pressure..” she told her as she headed towards the steamy bathroom.

Cheryl remembered the first time Toni had said that to her at the Bijou back in Riverdale on what had become their first date all those years ago, the memory filling her mind as she saw Toni head into the bathroom, dropping her towel as she stepped into the shower.

Cheryl bit her lip, unsure what she should do. It would be nice to shower with Toni, but was she ready for that? She really wasn’t sure.

The familiar scent of Toni’s shampoo wafted from the bathroom, Cheryl taking a few steps closer. 

“TT?” she called, the wobble in her voice evident as she stood quivering in the bathroom as she pulled the shower curtain back, now stood completely naked infront of Toni.

“Get in here babe..”‘Toni smiled gently, holding out her hand. “This will really warm you up..” 

Cheryl stepped shakily into the shower, Toni moving back to allow Cheryl’s shivering frame to stand under the steamy water. 

“I know when we typically take a shower we..” she made a small gesture with her hand, Toni knowing exactly what she was referring to.

“This isn’t about sex. Not for one second okay? I just want to get you warmed up and feel close to you okay? No ulterior motive..”

Cheryl nodded, stepping into the shower with her arms around herself, her cheeks flushed with embarrassment as she refused to meet Toni’s eyes. She couldn’t, she was too ashamed. 

It saddened Toni to see Cheryl so vulnerable and afraid. She reached out tentatively to cup Cheryl’s cheeks, bringing her gaze up. 

“You have nothing to be embarrassed or ashamed about..” Toni promised, leaning in to kiss her forehead. “You are truly beautiful Cher...inside and out.” 

Cheryl’s watery gaze met Toni’s as she threw her arms around Toni unexpected, sobbing into her neck.

“Shhh, it’s okay....I’ve got you..” Toni murmured into her skin as they both stood under the warm water, her loving and comforting touch helping Cheryl to slowly calm down.

Cheryl kept her face buried in Toni’s neck as she let Toni’s comforting scent wash over her, calming her further.

“Why don’t we shower and get out of here before the water goes cold?” Toni murmured, taking the small nod against her neck as confirmation that Cheryl wanted to do the same. 

The moment was sweet and tender and it was just for them, Cheryl feeling more relaxed and less exposed in Toni’s presence.

This was another step on their healing journey, and although neither of them acknowledged it out loud, there was an unspoken understanding that passed between them as they stood in that shower together and for the first time in a long way, Cheryl felt a sense of peace. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The comments you leave on here mean so much to me, so thank you 🥰
> 
> My twitter inbox theauthenticme2 is always open if anyone wants to talk about anything, anytime. ♥️


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for coming back for chapter 6. It’s been a while, so you may want to skip back a chapter or two to remember what has happened before this.
> 
> TW for brief mentions of sexual assault.

Once Cheryl and Toni were dressed in some comfy clothes, they were both a lot warmer. They stood together in the kitchen as Toni cooked, debating whether to watch another Disney movie or do something else with their free time.

Cheryl argued the merits of Frozen, Toni chuckling when Cheryl cited the songs alone as a reason to watch the movie again.

Toni promised her she was happy with whatever Cheryl chose, Cheryl promising she would make her mind up by the time they got done with their meal. 

The rest of the day was spent relaxing on the couch, snuggled together as they enjoyed the movies and each other’s company. It was the most like the old ‘them’ that Toni felt they had been in a while, and she was very grateful for that.

When they got into bed that night, Toni held Cheryl close to her, rubbing her back gently as they relaxed into the soft mattress.

“Toni?” Cheryl’s nervous voice broke the comfortable silence. 

“You okay?”

“I love you, and I am so grateful to you.”

“What for my love?”

“For everything. For staying by my side through all this shit, for bringing me here...for being so patient with me..” she listed off a few reasons. I know I’m more emotionally closed off that usual right now and I’m sorry for that.”

“Please never be sorry for showing your emotions..” Toni promised. “You’re not closed off baby. I know it takes time and I’ll be here the entire time. As long as you need..”

“Thank you TT, you honestly have no idea how much that means to be to hear you say that.”

“I mean every word..” Toni promised again. “I love you with my whole heart.”

“As I do you..” Cheryl whispered, pressing herself tighter into Toni’s embrace. 

“Get some sleep. We’ve had a busy day..” Toni pressed a kiss to the top of Cheryl’s head.

“It was good though. I enjoyed what we did today..”

“Me too” Toni hummed quietly, keeping Cheryl safely in her arms until she was sure that Cheryl was asleep.

Cheryl only woke once that night with a nightmare, Toni able to lull her back to sleep in mere minutes. They are absolutely making definite progress now and Toni was very pleased about that indeed.

....

Their new boldness continued on much the same path in the coming days, them taking a trip to the beach at least once a day, sometimes twice if Cheryl was feeling extra confident.

They had been at the beach house for almost 4 weeks when Toni felt Cheryl’s eyes on her one afternoon. Toni thought she had imagined it at first, the red head dropping her gaze the second she saw Toni looking in her direction, but the flush on Cheryl’s cheeks told Toni that she definitely had been staring. 

By the time darkness fell that evening, Toni felt like she needed to say something, her curious mind unable to figure out exactly why Cheryl couldn’t keep her eyes off her.

“Cher? Are you okay? Is there something you wanted to talk about?”

Cheryl felt her cheeks flush even redder when Toni called her out. “Oh um...uh..” she fiddled anxiously with the sleeves of her sweatshirt.

“You know you can tell me anything..” Toni reminded her softly. 

“It’s just uh..well..” she mumbled, her cheeks flushing redder still. “Katy and I were talking in my last session and she thinks maybe..I’m..”

Toni was still working with Cheryl too, but having an outside person who was not only a trained therapist but also a trusted friend was helping them to move forwards.

“Katy thinks you’re what honey?” Toni waited patiently for her to find her words.

“Maybe I’m ready for us to..do some ... uh... stuff ...maybe.”

“Stuff?” 

Cheryl let our a soft whine, burying her face in her hands. “I don’t know how Katy thinks I’m supposed to be ready for this when I can’t even say it.”

“You know you can always tell me anything..” Toni reminded her softly, sitting down beside her. “What’s making you so anxious about saying whatever is is you want to say to me?”

Cheryl shrugged, still refusing to meet Toni’s eyes. “Maybe that you’ll want to and say yes, or you won’t and say no or you won’t think it’s the right time..” she trailed off.

“The only question that matters is, do _you_ think it’s the right time? It doesn’t matter what Katy, or me or anyone else for that matter thinks. This is about you.” Toni stilled Cheryl’s nervous hands, bringing her palm up to her lips to kiss it softly. 

“I think maybe..maybe I’m ready to do something for you. I know I wouldn’t be ready for you to touch me like _that_ right now, but I would like to try with you, if you want to?”

Toni let our a breath she didn’t know she was holding. 

“It was a stupid idea...forget it..” cheryl mumbled.

“No..no it wasn’t at all baby” Toni soothed. “I just wasn’t expecting it.”

Cheryl couldn’t bring herself to meet Toni’s eyes, feeling embarrassed. 

“Cher? Talk to me..” Toni murmured gently, reaching her hand out to squeeze Cheryl’s hand. “Where’s all this coming from? There’s no rush for any of this you know...it doesn’t change anything for me if we’re not having sex, I’m not going anywhere..”

“Maybe you should. It’s not fair for you to have to be so long without sex...and I don’t know if that’s going to change for me anytime soon..” she sniffled. “And it’s not because I’m not attracted to you because I am. _So_ much. I just can’t..I can’t right now..” tears slipped down her cheeks.

“Cheryl Majore Blossom..” Toni said firmly. “Please believe me when I say I love you. So, so much and I’m not going anywhere. I don’t care if we never get to have sex again. I love _you_ and will always be here for you, no matter what...”

“You can say that..you can’t promise to stay with me if we never have sex again. That wouldn’t be fair..” 

“Cheryl. It’s _you_ that I love babe.“ Toni reintegrated again. “You are the best thing that’s ever happened to me and our relationship is worth so much more to be than just sex.”

“Really?” her glassy brown eyes met Toni’s monetarily.

“Really, really..” Toni confirmed, wiping Cheryl’s tears worth her thumbs.

“Thank you..” Cheryl was genuinely touched by Toni’s loving words. 

“You’ve always been so good to me, even when I don’t deserve it..”

“You deserve every second Cher. You don’t realize how amazing you are..”

Cheryl shook her head. “You don’t realize how amazing _you_ are Toni. You dropped everything to come here and help me heal. You take care of me everyday...and night. I couldn’t have done any of this without you and I want you to know how much I appreciate you.”

“I do know Cher bear. You don’t have to do anything to show me...I promise I know okay?”

“Okay..” Cheryl leaned close to Toni, kissing her gently. “I want us to go back to normal. I miss being close to you like that. I miss having sex with you. I think maybe it would help”.

“And we will...in time..” Toni promised. “When you’re ready my love and not a second before.”

“So we can try?”

“If you’re sure that’s what you want, then I’m all yours babe, especially if you think it will help you”.

Cheryl nodded, biting the inside of her cheek as she looked at Toni again. “Sooo..maybe later?”

“Later sounds good. How about we head our for our walk on the beach and then I cook us dinner. If you still feel in the mood later, then great. If you’re changed your mind; that’s perfectly okay too.”

“Sounds like the perfect plan.”

......

Toni was a aware that Cheryl was anxious. She’d barely eaten her dinner and had been distracted ever since they had their conversation earlier.

“Cher?” Toni pulled her out of her thoughts as they sat together on the couch, the fire going and some candles lit around the room. “We really don’t have to do this today you know...”

“No...no. I want to. I’m just...nervous.”

“I get it. But I promise, you have nothing to be nervous about here okay? You’re completely in control and anytime you want to stop, we stop.”

“Right. And it’s not even like _i’m_ the one having sex or getting naked is it. I just want to make you feel good.” She then surprised Toni by straddling her lap and pressing their lips together softly. 

Toni stifled a moan as she felt Cheryl’s tongue trail over her lip, asking for entry. They deepened their kiss and Toni had to resist the urge to move her hands under Cheryl’s shirt like she normally would have done. 

Cheryl’s hand under Toni’s shirt was a welcome surprise, Toni whimpering slightly at Cheryl’s tentative touch.

“Why don’t we move onto the blanket?” Toni suggested, knowing there would be more space on the floor amidst the pillows and blanket. 

Cheryl nodded, climbing off Toni’s lap and settling herself on the floor, Toni following quickly behind her.

“You okay?” Toni whispered, the candle lit glow of the room highlighting Cheryl’s anxious features.

“I’m scared..” Cheryl confesses quietly, her finger tracing over the patterns of the blanket. 

“Don’t be scared babe. We don’t have to do anything you’re not happy with okay? If you want to stop, we stop, no questions asked.”

“Can we go slow?”

Toni nodded, caressing Cheryl’s cheek tenderly as she laid back against the pillows. “Everything is at your pace..” she reminded her.

Cheryl laid down beside Toni, her hand caressing Toni’s side as she leaned in to kiss her again. 

Cheryl tugged softly at Toni’s top, silently asking permission to take it off. Toni sat up, pulling it over her head, laying back down again in her bra.

Cheryl continued to trail her fingers across Toni’s skin as she kissed her, her hand moving easily inside Toni’s bra to touch her chest, Toni’s bra soon discarded along with her shirt.

Every touch was tentative, as if Cheryl was seeing and touching Toni for the very first time and Toni did her best to keep her reactions calm and quiet, not wanting to do anything that could upset or worse, trigger her girlfriend.

Cheryl ran her hands up and down Toni’s sides again and along her torso and chest like she was taking in every detail for the very first time. It broke Toni’s heart to see Cheryl look so apprehensive and scared, having always been so confident when it came to sex. Toni knew how was not the time to let her mind wander, instead needing to stay present in the current moment. 

Toni whimpered when Cheryl’s hand unexpectedly slipped beneath her joggers and into her panties, Toni grasping at the blanket beneath her so she wasn’t tempted to do what she usually would and touch Cheryl back. 

Cheryl couldn’t deny that she felt some arousal when she touched Toni, something she wondered if she would _ever_ feel again after what has happened. 

“You’re so wet..” Cheryl hummed against Toni’s ear, nipping beneath it in the way she knew Toni loved as her fingers trailed through her folds.

Toni wanted to buck her hips into Cheryl’s hand but resisted the urge, not wanting to do anything to upset the redhead. She started to relax when she felt Cheryl’s fingers gather her arousal and start to circle her clit, unable to stop herself from letting out a whimper.

Cheryl made eye contact with Toni, almost as if she was silently asking permission to continue. When Toni nodded her head, Cheryl eased two fingers inside Toni, quickly finding a steady rhythm that was comfortingly familiar.

Toni couldn’t help but whimper as her breathing grew shallower and Cheryl’s touches brought her closer to her release. 

Seeing Toni enjoying what she was doing only spurred Cheryl on, keen to give Toni release, something she knew Toni had not had these past few months.

Toni climaxed with the quiet cry of Cheryl’s name, her hips arching off the blanket as she bucked into Cheryl’s hand. Her eyes fell closed as she rested a hand over her stomach, her shallow breaths slowly returning to normal. 

“Was it okay?” Cheryl asked, the second Toni opened her eyes again. 

“So much more than okay..” Toni hummed, pulling Cheryl close to her. “Thank you Cher. Thank you for trusting me enough to do that, I know it wasn’t easy for you to do anything like that after what happened..” a few tears slipped down Toni’s cheeks.

“Touching you like that reminded me of old times...I liked that feeling..” Cheryl mused as she brushed the tears away from Toni’s cheeks. “YOU make me feel safe Toni.”

“Thank you..” Toni sniffled as she wiped the fresh tears from her cheeks. 

“How about I hold you tonight instead?” Cheryl murmured, wrapping Toni lovingly in her arms. “Let me be the big spoon.”

”yes please..” Toni agreed against Cheryl, already buried in her arms, the two of them snuggled together by the fire. They quickly feel asleep, feeling safe and loved in eachother’s company. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading, I hope you enjoyed this chapter! 
> 
> Let me know what you thought in a comment below 😊


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